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evabadon:

"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" well i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to really think i have red and gold eyelids

(via suffoc-ted)

tjaw96:

If you tell me you’re going to sleep and I see you 10 minutes later on Tumblr, I understand completely.

(via suffoc-ted)

beefmilk2:

pansoph:

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

jerry is here

(via the-1975babes)

nice-wig-janis:

do you remember when you were a kid and the doorbell rang you would run and see who it was, now i just run to my room instead

(via curly-headed-fnck)

my-h-e-a-r-t-s-not-in-it:

hey sorry im late i didnt want to come

(via hate)

introtofeminism:

i didnt mean to become an angry feminist it just sort of happened because i looked out my window and woke the fuck up y’know

(via follow-the-moon-)

sheeriosnotcheerios:

I think this photo is quite old, but I just love the shirt. Good vibes all around [x]